life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
