so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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