There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
