No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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