i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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