Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
