go do what you do best...puke behind churches
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
