Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
you never un-have a 4some
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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