How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
