She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Randomize