saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I don't think brook has ever known best
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
now i know why i became what i already was.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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