Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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