didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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