What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
