On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
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Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
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The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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