who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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