If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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