Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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