Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
