i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
