you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
now i know why i became what i already was.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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