I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
