no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
