I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
