i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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