My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come share oat with me in your robe
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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