Fuck appropriateness.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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