so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
