so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
