We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Found your dick twin last night
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
