just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
worst night to have a conscience
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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