Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
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$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
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So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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