Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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