At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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