how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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