your thong is hanging out like whoa
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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