Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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