Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
