There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
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