Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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