thus making me awesome and them whores
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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