WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
