? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
