Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
