still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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