i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
