I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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