That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
