my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
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