yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
did you just send me my own nude
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
