tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
