yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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