What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
he fucked my hip out of place.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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