if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize