am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
