are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
