When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
