first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
