i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
