You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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