My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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