so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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