Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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